1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Damn victory sex feels great
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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