I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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