I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
