Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
