this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
COCAINE IS GR8
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