Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
