Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
