is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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