My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
