Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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