Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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