I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
