At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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