I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
