Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
