we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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