i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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