I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You took a bar mat shot.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
