My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
