next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
