Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
