I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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