dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You're like the curious george of whores
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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