funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize