You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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