yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
