I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How naked do you want me to be?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
