if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
