why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
