me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
