I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
