You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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