what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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