if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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