my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
