with your own penis?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
