No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize