Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
