JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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