Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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