It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
