I got chris browned last night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
