So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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