you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize