I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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