Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
