you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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