U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
