She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
