Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
