At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
love makes seman taste better
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
