I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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