Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
