Kiss
Puke
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
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he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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