I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
