every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
