I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
