My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
