you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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