I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
